Communion at His Table
"I had a marvelous vision while alone in a secluded cabin atop the mountains by Lake Arrowhead . It was in this very place that I stayed for seven days, snowbound in 1981, when God began this miracle transformation in me. The flood gates were opened; scripture has come alive; I hear the voice clearly now from God Himself and all things are being made known to me from the Word who became flesh and now dwells among men, including me. On this occasion, however, it was a balmy day atop the mountains as I watched the squirrels scampering across the balcony and the sassy bluejays compete for the corn and nuts on the railing. My husband had gone for a hike in the woods and I felt a strange kind of listlessness that one often experiences in saying final farewells to things they know shall never return. Somehow I knew that every stage of my walk with Christ and the experiences of my life in general, were being buried in the past forever. I wasn't sad about it, but I was certain about the finality of it all, and I wondered what was happening to me and where it all would lead.
"I began to talk with the Lord about it, and I do mean talk with, for I hear His voice now whenever I take the time to converse with Him personally and I no longer pray 'at' Him or sort of hope I will 'hit' something out there that hears and answers; but I have conversations and hear Him as clearly as any human on this earth. I don't remember the first part of our conversation, for it was only the Father talking with me by His Spirit. Then I looked at where we were. We were sitting at a table! At first it seemed like it was just a cozy little table where we were about to sup together. There were wine goblets in front of us, and I had a flash of, 'What would the church world think if they knew Jesus drank wine!' But, He read my thoughts and only smiled at the foolish ideas and values of humans in their doctrinal treadmill. There was a loaf of bread on the table and meat, a roasted fowl of some kind, a platter of fish, and huge bowls of fresh juicy fruit.
"Then I looked around and realized there was no floor under me. I mean — no floor at all! Nothing. I was suspended, yet my feet were on something that felt solid, but I saw nothing there. I was sort of up in the sky; yet when I looked directly at Jesus, it was more like I was in a romantic little private café with just Him and me there. I had a strange feeling of a very, very personal, but totally pure and holy love between Jesus and me that is unlike any love or any relationship I have ever had. I can compare this with nothing I have known before. Deep and pure and wonderful beyond words and His face, that face so very kind and so penetrating with healing in His very glance as if His eyes were able to look deep into my soul and love away every disappointment and sorrow and tear I've ever shed. He seemed to convey to me that He was there with me through all those and He had taken them all upon Himself back into the past to that tree at Calvary and they were buried there. All I was experiencing were phantoms, lies that haunt and torment when one doesn't know they are not real and have been buried in the tomb with the crucified Christ.
"After this I noticed that we really were not in a tiny room together, but as I looked around in the heavens, more light was shed on the table and I saw that it was instead a very, very long table. In fact, it was extended as far as the eye could see, and only then disappeared because of distance. It was simply in space, suspended in the heavens, though I did not see the earth below, at least not at first, and then not the earth I've always known. It was very exciting and a wonderfully breathtaking view.
"I was aware that I was sitting at the head of the table as if I was being treated like a queen, and Jesus was there to serve me. That embarrassed me, and I did not think it was right; but I didn't want to offend Him. So I asked, 'Who prepared all this food!' He said that He had done it Himself...that He had prepared it just for me, even in the presence of my enemies. But I didn't see anyone around, and didn't have any personal enemies anyway, though I grieved at the enemies of the cross that I knew about. He smiled. I was getting more and more uncomfortable sitting at the head of the table though, and He said, `Say what you are thinking, N , because I can see your thoughts anyway, you know.' `Well,' I said, `since you know what I am thinking, I must say that I do not feel right about sitting at the head of the table. I will stay here if it is what you want, Lord, but I really believe I would feel better if you sat in the head seat and I sat at the side.' He agreed and we traded seats. He seemed pleased with that and said that it was an act of proving I no longer wanted to control my life but had come to prefer HIS headship to my own, or anyone else's. I didn't know about all that; but I did feel better with HIM at the head of the table and me at the side!
"During our meal, we did eat. While we ate, famous men came up to the table and without really noticing the Lord or myself, grabbed a platter of food from off the table and disappeared with it. I recognized Jimmy Swaggart, and Billy Graham as a young man with galoshes and an overcoat, and some others still in public ministry today, including Oral Roberts, and some others I did not know. I asked, `Who are these men?' The Lord said, 'They are ones who were given a heaping serving of Truth at one time, but they settled for just that and never returned for more, or to sit with me and sup until I bade them go back out and serve others.' `Then don't they know they need to do that?' I asked. 'No,' said Jesus, `they have had that food devoured long ago, and now they pass around an empty plate, too busy still taking glory for that first meal that they don't even know they no longer have anything of value to offer.' He seemed very sad at this, and I wanted to comfort Him for a change. Isn't that a strange thought! He said, `All those characteristics, even of divine compassion, are from the heart of the Father, which is why we are getting to look more alike all the time.'
"Jesus smiled even more broadly at me. 'After all,' He confirmed, 'we are family now. We have the same Father, don't we?' His eyes twinkled with merriment and I quickly forgot His sad look as I took a big bite of the drumstick in front of me. In fact, I had plenty of everything which was, by far, the most delicious food I had ever tasted and I was quite satisfied. But even after I was full and content with the enormous feast set before me, I looked down and it was all still there as though I had never touched it! I was very puzzled by this. The Lord answered my thoughts and told me, 'No matter how much you eat, and how tasty and nourishing, it is beyond compare; it will always still be there for more and more and more.' I knew He was talking to me about the Word of God! No matter how much I feast, it is always a gigantic banquet and we still haven't even made a dent in it. I have come to feed off of it as a source of very real life, and it continues to feed me as it unfolds within me and I get my fill; yet I never get my fill! I am always satisfied, yet I continue to look forward to more of my daily bread.
"What a banqueting table the Lord Jesus sets before me, and I praise Him for this miracle food. I cannot do justice or rightly describe to anyone what has happened inside me, but it is a glorious and never-ending supper with the Lord Jesus Christ. In fact, that is exactly what it is — THE LORD'S SUPPER! It is the Lord's supper in the final, heavenly way that He has told us about in the Word and now by His precious loving Spirit, 'I will not drink wine again until I can drink it new with you in my Father's kingdom.' He drank wine with me that day, and ate with me, and I with Him, and He said, 'I HAVE BEEN KNOCKING ON THE DOOR FOR SO LONG, and I continue to knock on the doors of other's hearts, and if they will open the door, I will go in and sup with them as well.' But the chairs at that endless table were empty at that hour.
"I remember that the practical side of me arose within and I wondered if the food might not spoil awaiting the arrival of the wedding guests; for I realized this intimate loving meal with my Jesus was the marriage supper. He said, 'It won't spoil. It will wait till they arrive.' Then I wondered if I couldn't take (are you ready for this awful humanness) a doggie bag of some of the food back with me. I knew it was of the Spirit and thought perhaps it might give others a taste of the Truth of this wondrous living meal. But Jesus smiled again and said to me, 'You have been taking great heapings of my Word to others in the prophetic revelations I have given you for them; but as you well know, it hasn't triggered anyone's taste buds for more of the Truth thus far!' We both were grieved at this dreadful fact. 'But then, child, it is not yet time. Be not dismayed. No matter what you do, it is the work of my Spirit that alone can enable others to see Truth even as you now see it.' So I didn't feel like such a failure after that. He was pleased with me, in our supping together, so I wanted to rest in that.
"Then I became aware that crumbs fell off both His plate and mine, yet there was no floor to pick them off of, and I was concerned about cluttering (the practical me again). Jesus said to let them go for the dogs. `Dogs?' ‘Yes,' said the Lord, 'these are morsels of Truth that they clamor for and yet settle for on earth and believe they have the full course dinner! They have nothing to compare it with, so they believe they have it all.' `How sad,' I replied. 'Only the crumbs I now spill are available to the weak and hungry lambs, for the famine grows worse and worse in this terrible time.' That is why I was saying, 'I'm starving to death in this place!' referring to church meetings before God dragged me out of them to be taught by Him. 'You were hungry,' the Lord replied, 'so I feed you now myself.