Elwin Roach's Call To Salvation and Infilling of the Holy Spirit
(July 1971)
There are many things, I am sure, that brought me to the place of salvation of which I am unaware; but I will relate those things I do know:
My family has always been very loving and supportive. As far back as I can remember, not only my immediate family, but all my aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents have been close-knit. Therefore, I was fortunate to have such an atmosphere in which to grow up. Nevertheless, there has always been an element in our family’s fabric which was responsible for shipwrecking lives—alcoholism. My oldest brother, Bobby, died in 2002 at the age of 64 due to excessive drinking and smoking, as did my uncle, Delmar, at the age of 62. They were afflicted with that demon more so than the others.
Bobby, being my older brother by four years, was my standard by which to live, my idol. Wherever he went or whatever he did, I was there and doing it along with him, and most often, everything revolved around drinking and smoking. He taught me how to inhale cigarettes at the age of six years old. I can remember at that age, we used to sneak our grandpa’s beer from underneath his and our grandma’s bed and sitting in the scorching desert heat drinking a hot can of beer. We couldn’t take a cold beer from the refrigerator, for he only kept one or two in it at a time, and it would be missed if we took it from there.
It goes without saying, that by the time I was fourteen, my mind and habits were set strongly toward destruction. At age of twenty-one, the tree of my life seemed to be permanently bent in that direction. I lived to have fun, and fun to me was drinking, smoking, motorcycle racing, and frequenting bars to drink and play pool with my brother.
I met and married Margit while stationed Fürth, Germany (near Nuerenburg), she was nineteen (19) and I was twenty (20). We had three beautiful children, two boys and girl. Even with a family I loved dearly, they were second to my brother and our drinking together.
God gave me a wife who could not easily go home to Mamma. This was due to lack of finances on both sides of the ocean. If I had married a local girl, there is no way she could have lived with me for six years; but with Margit being trapped, she endured until the day of my end, and that end came in a very unusual way, and it was after I had been drinking beer all day and riding motorcycles with my brother.
My brother and his wife, and Margit and myself, were visiting our parents for awhile before going home. We were drinking beer and complaining about the long-haired hippies who were ruining my barber business. You see, I had just gotten out of barber college and went to work at Clif’s Barber Shop, which was owned by my cousin, and this was 1971. Even the business men were going longer between hair cuts, and this was not good for a new barber struggling to build a clientele with a family to support.
In the midst of our disgruntled discussion, my mother said, "Do you know that there is a place in the Bible that says it is a shame for a man to have long hair." I replied that I didn’t believe such a thing would be in the Bible, which would be good if it was; for I’ve always worn short hair, and such a verse would go along with our dispute about those "long-haired hippies." But it just didn’t seem to me that there would be anything like that in the Bible.
She said that she would prove it, that is, if she could find her Bible. She went to her bedroom closet and in less than a minute she returned with her Bible, which had not been read for more than twenty years. (My mother and dad had read it some when they were attending a Seventh Day Adventist country-church, hoping to prove the preacher wrong.)
The first miracle was that she found her Bible, the second miracle was that she opened the Bible to the scripture. She didn’t have to spend time looking for it, and the verse wasn’t marked. It was simply God setting the stage for a lost young man of twenty-seven years old who thought he knew what he wanted in life. My mother read the verse: "Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?" 1 Cor. 11:14
Even after she read the verse, I didn’t believe it was there. I thought she was making it up. And that is what I told her. She said, "Here, read it for yourself." The picture is still clearly imbedded in my mind with her slender finger pointing to the verse as she handed me the Bible. I took the Book and read the verse for myself, and what an explosion of life that erupted in me! I felt like reading and absorbing every word in the Bible. I was not thinking that I could go around preaching against long hair to help my business. I just wanted more what had suddenly engulfed me.
I can remember saying, "Wow! That is interesting!" I then asked my mother if I could borrow her Bible, since I didn’t have one. She said "Sure. Take it as long as you like. I don’t read it anyway," and I took it home with every intention of reading it. However, I did not feel the same way the next morning. The fact is, I was very embarrassed for showing such weakness in front of my brother, my wife, my sister-in-law, and my parents. I remember thinking that I must have been really drunk to have pulled such a stunt as telling everyone that I wanted to read the Bible. For, you see, to me, that was a sign of weakness, and I certainly didn’t want my family to think I was some kind of a weak cripple who need the Bible to lean on.
After a couple of weeks, Margit, asked me if we should return my mother’s Bible, since I was not reading it. I told her to take it back for I had no plans of reading it, and I didn’t. Ah, but God had other plans. From that fateful night of reading that seemingly insignificant verse, the very presence of Christ Jesus was with me. I did not know that was what it was at the time; but I can remember the warm feeling in my soul, and the desire to experience the joy and happiness that Jesus was experiencing at all times with His Father. And this was a God and Jesus, so I thought, that I did not believe really existed; yet was sensing in my spirit that I wanted their joy and happiness.
I did not stop drinking; but for three months after that initial experience with 1 Corinthians 11:14, the more I drank the worse I felt. Where I used to know a similitude of joy, I could no longer find it, and this was terrifying; for the joy of drinking was my life. If I could not enjoy drinking, my life was over. There was no reason to live, so it seemed. But my thoughts kept going back to wanting to experience the joy and happiness I knew that Jesus was experiencing all the time. This, however, was an impossibility, as far as I could see. For my concept of such joy could only be known in heaven, and, of course, I knew I couldn’t go to church every Sunday for the rest of my life, which I thought would be necessary in order to make it to heaven, and this would be after I died. Such a thing would be a much too severe hell for me to endure. I knew I didn’t have it in me to be obedient and do that for the rest of my life. It was so contrary to everything I had always lived for, and knew I could not hold out. Therefore, I resigned myself to live the rest of my life as I had always done, but now without the joy I once had in drinking, and wind up in the tormenting flames of hell forever. What a terrible dilemma I was in with no solution was in sight.
But God knew exactly how to draw me into the loving arms of Jesus Christ. A fellow barber was reading Billy Graham’s book, "World Aflame," and he commented on how the prophecies in it were like reading the daily newspaper. I politely responded that I would like to read it sometime. Being the good Baptist that he was, I found the book instantly shoved into my hands, with him saying, "Here. Go ahead and read it." I tried to wiggle out of the trap I had set for myself, and said, "No, I mean, after you read it." He quickly responded, "I’ve read it several times. I was just glancing back over it."
I quickly thought to myself: "I will read the book. For nothing can change the life-style I have always known to be right for me. Since this is a fact, then nothing, not even this so-called 'wonderful' book by Billy Graham can change my way of living. Nothing can shake me nor alter my choice of life." Although I was thoroughly miserable, I still could not turn loose.
The book was entitled, "World Aflame," and it set my world aflame. Every word was like the verse I had read three months prior to this. I was deluged with waves of excitement, of encouragement, of enlightenment—of Life. When I read the part about Jesus dying for the sins of the world, which included my own, that salvation comes by confessing Him as Lord, and being born again of His Spirit—I knew something with crystal clarity. I knew that if I was born of Him, and His Spirit was in me, then I did not have to go to church every Sunday the rest of my life and wait until I died to go to heaven in order to know the Joy of Jesus Christ. If He was in me, then I could know that joy right now. That is what I was looking for all my life, but could not find it. There was a fragment of joy in the bottle; but now I knew this was the real joy, and I would be a fool to turn from it. I then confessed Jesus as my Lord to the glory of God my Father, and the weight of the world was suddenly lifted from my weary shoulders. Life, and life more abundantly was mine forever! It was at that time that I had a burning desire to share this wonderful phenomenon to the world.
The Infilling of The Holy Spirit
or
(The Baptism of The Holy Spirit )
After having been called of God, saved, and awakened to His Life; that is, having been born of His Spirit, I could not have imagined anything ever coming close to such a earth shaking, electrifying experience. But as I have come to know, there is always something greater that sweeps over us when it comes to God and His love for us.
All was going well, very well in this born again life in the family of God, that is, until my comfort zone began to be shaken. I thought that by just being born of the Spirit was all that I would ever need in life, you know, just live, go to church, be happy, and someday go to heaven where I would be living in a mansion and picnicking with my family and friends for ever in the celestial garden of paradise. However, my Father had much more in store for me than I had known while yet in my infancy. One of those ongoing things of ever-growing ongoing things is what is known as "the Baptism of the Holy Spirit," a term I had never heard mentioned until it was brought up and discussed in home Bible study. My spirit rejoiced at what I heard, and I could hardly wait to share this great news with my friend and Baptist pastor.
He quickly disarmed me and made sure that I knew such a thing as this was not scriptural and was certainly not of God, that every born again Christian received the baptism of the Holy Spirit at the instant they were saved, born again. He was convincing, so I accepted his logic; that is, until our next home Bible study when the subject was discussed again with scriptures that supported the thought, and my spirit was revived and considered the matter as I had the previous week. I, of course, called and shared the scriptural proof with my pastor the next day, and he indicated in so many words that this was religious fanaticism or of the devil. Since I certainly did not want to be involved with either, I went along with his word, that is, until...again...our next home Bible study when compelling evidence was presented.
For a while, it did not matter to me which side of the issue was the truth; for I loved and respected the people on both sides, those who spoke for it and the pastor who spoke against it. All I wanted was the truth; but I found that I was being pulled apart by that which I kept hearing. It got to the point that I could no longer agree with both sides; for they conflicted with one another.. It has to be one or the other. Due to the disquieted uncertainly that was continually with me, sitting on the indecisive fence had to come to an end.
After hearing the word on the baptism of the Holy Spirit, and on my 12 mile drive home from the meeting, I prayed to God that He would show me the truth of this matter; for I could no longer vacillate between my friends who I had highly respected, but they held different opinions. In my spirit, I knew that I could not be satisfied by either side's persuasive answers. The truth had to come from God and no other. I earnestly prayed that He would reveal to me the Truth. After praying while driving alone down the highway, I was very relieved and had the assurance in my spirit that He would show me the truth about the baptism in and by the Spirit. I felt overjoyed that the truth would be coming.
I had thought it would be by reading some verse or another in the Bible, and the Spirit would quicken the truth to me. Although I did not know this was the way He would show to me what truth was, I knew He would be the one who would open it up to me, and with assurance, an overwhelming spirit of praise began to stir in me. Since I was alone that is what I started doing, praising God for that which I knew He would do, and the more I praised Him the more I felt from my heart the urge to praise Him.
After a couple of minutes of praise that continued to be magnifying, I notice what seemed like electrified, liquid life enter the bottoms of my feet which was moving upwardly into my ankles and legs. Not only was this taking place from beneath but from above also; for the same electrified, liquid life entered through the top of my head and was flowing downward. I had never experienced anything like this, and it startled me for a moment. My praise to God stopped for a few seconds while I was noticing this life that was surging in my body. When I stopped praising, the electrified life stopped moving upward and downward; but it was still pulsating inside my feet, legs, and head while the urge to praise God was still welling up in my spirit, so I began to praise again, when I did, the movement of the electrified, liquid life continued its journey inside my body and being that converged in the midst of my belly.
The most awesome spirit of praise that was generated by this life continued to rush from my mouth. I was expressing every word that was humanly possible of how much I love God, but this came to an end when there were no words that could relate to what I was feeling in my entire being. At the same time the pressure of the two forces of life that converged in the midst of me built to bursting capacity that could not be contained. It was then that from the depth of my being an explosion of words came like a geyser. They were words I had never heard before, nor could I understand them; for there was no human language that could express what I was feeling for God; but I did know that I was expressing to Him what I was feeling and experiencing in my spirit that no earthly language had words for. It was a heavenly language! It was unknown to me! It was tongues of the angels! I was speaking in tongues, and I knew it!
It was God who revealed to me the truth about the baptism of the Holy Spirit. Since that day, no one, regardless of their convincing arguments could persuade me otherwise. I was like a man in a house without windows and being told that it was raining outside, while others were saying that it was not raining. Although each sounded as if they knew what they were talking about, the man could not reconcile the conflicting declarations, so he had to go outside and see for himself. It only took an instant for him to know the truth, and that was when he was drenched by the downpour of rain. And even though his friends who told him that it was not raining were still unchangeable in their views even after he stood before them soaking wet from the rain. He knew the truth and could never be persuaded otherwise. So it was with me and the baptism of the Holy Spirit! I stood in His rain! I got wet! I am still wet! And I cannot be persuaded otherwise!!!
Elwin R. Roach