Knowing His Heart

Finally I've got around to writing my testimony, of how our Heavenly Father has brought me into the realization of the fullness of His unfailing love for all of His Creation.

I am 26 years old and I grew up in Germany, living right at the border to the Swiss town Basel. I was born into a rather liberal, Roman-Catholic family.

Nevertheless, from early childhood on I had been entrenched with the idea that if you do good you are going to heaven, but if you do bad you are going to ‘hell,' whatever that meant. We saw ourselves as the good ones of course, which meant we always tried to be nice people.

Just recently I realized how, as a child, I had already been influenced by the religious imagery of that particular denomination I was born into, even though my family was quite liberal in practicing their religious beliefs.

On the other hand, we learnt about Evolution in school and the ‘Big Bang' and so on, even though we were also taught so called Judeo-Christian ethics. What a contradiction!

As a child, it confused me that the people who were really involved in ‘church,' and especially those who had great influence in it, were also the richest--and sometimes it seemed--the meanest people; behaving as if their underlying beliefs were not 'Judeo-Christian ethics' but the evolution theory with it's “survival of the fittest.”

This confusion and the very painful separation of my parents at age eleven led me to the place where I started to ask myself questions like: Is there a God? Does He care? What is His name? I had many such questions.

I looked into the teachings of my denomination but also into other religions, even reading some of their ‘sacred scriptures;' but mostly I read the Bible.

At first it didn't make much sense to me and I had great problems with the so-called Old Testament at first, but was strangely drawn to the words and the Person of Jesus Christ. Then one night in the summer of 1990, He met me in my childhood bedroom and life hasn't been the same since then, ever again.

I can describe the experience that I had only as similar to the one Saul had on his way to Damascus. Filled with a immense desire to know my Lord and Saviour, the Son of God better, I began studying ‘scripture' like crazy and reading every Christian book I could get my hands on.

I began to visit many denominations and sects of Christendom, but what shocked me was that a lot of the people I met there didn't seem to know Jesus at all, but were only eager to tell me about their ‘right' doctrine.

That put me off so badly that I didn't go to any ‘church' for quite a period of time. Over the years I had learned to hear the Holy Spirit's Voice and had been released into His supernatural gifts, which in certain denominations got me into big trouble, sometimes even in those who claimed to believe in the Gifts.

Because I was very naive I didn't understand that it offended some when I talked freely about my experience of God.

But what bothered me the most was that after a while I seemed to become more and more like the Pharisees--in the scriptures; instead of like the One who had drawn me to Himself. Also, I still struggled with leaving behind certain feelings, reactions and attitudes of my past. Sometimes, I even doubted that God loved me, to the point where I actually contemplated suicide, being scared that God would send me to ‘hell' if I failed.

When I met Clare (who is now my wife) things started to change. I recognized that she knew the Father of all mercies and the God of unconditional love Whom I had met some years ago. This greatly helped me to hope again and to be open for more revelation.

While working for a healing and training ministry in England, Jesus introduced me to His (and my) Heavenly Dad, Whose unconditional Love has brought such great healing to my religion-abused heart, that I began to understand what it means to cry out: ‘Abba, Father!' for the first time in my life.

About this time, Daddy started to talk to me about the restoration of all things and I started to question my beliefs about ‘hell.'

I had grown up with the so-called modern view of C.S. Lewis and folks similar like him, but the ministry we worked with believed strongly in the traditional view, even to the point that they taught that God would give unbelievers and ‘failed Christians' their body back so they could experience literal pain when tortured forever!

Most of the other teaching classes that this ministry offered dealt mostly with the healing love of God, and many encountered Him there. But in this particular class about ‘death and hell,' you could feel the demonic stronghold behind this teaching. Every student left this class depressed or at least deeply disturbed.. Because I was responsible for the taping department, I had to listen to that nonsense 2-3 times a year, so I know what I am talking about.

However, after some time in England, God called us back to Germany to share the unconditional Love we both had experienced with others. Let me tell you, Germany needs it, because we are probably the most legalistic nation on the face of the earth!

While reading everything about the Father heart of God that I could get my hands on (to confirm my experience from scripture and to be able to teach on it), I came across the books of Charles Slagle. Not only did they help me to increase intimacy with my Daddy-God as well as my ‘listening skills', but they also let me rejoice that I met someone who heard from the same God of unfailing Love like I did and Whom most Christians I met didn't seem to acknowledge.

We had been blessed with a computer and a internet connection, so I tried to find out if the Slagles had a website to find out more about their ministry....And that's how I got hooked into the ‘Larger Hope, Inclusion, Universal Reconciliation, what-ever-you-wanna-call-it-message.

The Holy Spirit immediately testified to my spirit that what the Slagles shared on their website was true and that Daddy was talking to me.

After contacting Charlie to ask him many questions, he referred me to Gary and Michelle Amirault and the ‘Tentmaker' Website which was such a blessing to me and my wife. We are now studying scripture like never before, leaving many things behind we had been taught, things I refer to as “traditions of men and doctrines of demons.” Lately we feel called out by our Heavenly Dad to leave the realm of organized churchianity and go to the broken, wounded and hurting ones of this world. Church people have either reacted to this truly good news with hostility, or-- to my utter surprise--total ignoring it, while the ones who don't know the Father yet, begin to have a shine in their eyes and a beaming look on their face when they hear the ‘Everlasting Gospel' for the first time.

In the year 2000 Abba gave me a dream in which He showed me the next wave of the Holy Spirit that is to come upon the earth. In it He told me not to go back to our old structures and denominational doctrines, because they would be pulled down, that something new would come, and that time is short. I encourage everyone to read Gary Amirault's 'Preparing for the next wave' or get Gary & Michelles Video/Dvd presentation of ‘Christ's Body Assembled in the New Day ' to check out what's coming upon us in the days ahead. You will be blessed, I promise.

I strongly believe that the message of the Father--and yes, Mother-heart of God goes hand in hand with the restoration of the truth that Jesus Christ is truly the Saviour of the whole world and that He's the Lamb that takes away the sin of the world (i.e. which is not believing (trusting) in Him, as the Holy Spirit convicts it).

It's not enough to just know the scriptures about God's Plan of the ages, however important this may be. We need to know His heart as well! We need to know Him so we can walk as Jesus walked and do the greater things He promised we would do. So let's make our calling sure. The whole creation is waiting for the appearing of Abba's Children, to set it free!

Finally, I want to say that there were many more people on the way who encouraged us to go deeper with God and know Him more intimately, as well as sharing with us revelations of the Spirit and from scripture. These all helped us along the way, to come to this place of deeper rest. They are not all mentioned here, because of the lack of space. May our Heavenly Dad bless them as well, as He one day will do with All of His Creation.

In Father's Arms

Florian